IELTS Letter, topic: Asking for information on scholarships

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Dear Sir/Madam,

I’m writing this letter to request more information about a scholarship/Finance assistance offered by your College.

I was awaiting in anticipation to enroll next year for the much coveted Diploma in English, but with unfortunate circumstance, I found myself in a financial difficulty.
I would appreciate it if you could steer me to the right path for scholarships information or if the college will be able to gave me financial assistance.

My certificate in Secondary education shows above average grades. I have worked in a voluntary position on weekends teaching English to young foreign kids. I do have the means to pay back if a loan was approved by the college. My employer will vouch for my employment and provide you with a proof of my earnings. He could also arrange a monthly deduction from my salary to your bank account.

I believe I have what it takes and I trust you would consider my request, by giving me the opportunity to continue my study.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours Faithfully,
M Munsamy

This is a good letter. It has the right structure, covers the task, shows a good command of the English language, the sentences range in complexity, the grammar and spelling are fine. Some minor corrections were made, see comments. Overall, this looks like a Band 7 letter.